Monday, November 28, 2011

Are women "prone" to repeating past mistakes?

A few weeks ago, I was engaging in a conversation with my dad about women in relationships, and he said that, "Women stick to patterns, and go back to the same men over and over again." When I say patterns, I don't mean abusive relationships where women do not leave their significant others. I mean situations where women repeatedly like the same type of guy that is never right for them or women keep "hooking up" with the same guy that will never want more than free fun.

So why is it that women do this? I get the simple explanation: Women are weak and overly emotional, so they must return to their past hookup buddies hoping they have changed. But, I'm not buying that excuse because it's based on a lot of stereotypical bullshit about women. I have a couple of other possible explanations: Maybe women feel comfortable with these types of men and don't know who might be a better fit for them. I think relationships among 20-somethings have become so devalued in college culture. Maybe women think that's the best they can get, so they settle for hookups. I also think some women repeat past mistakes while others learn from them, so I think it's a grand generalization to say that all women are trapped in their past relationship mistakes. 

Just some thoughts on a rainy Monday night (a.k.a I don't want to do my take home exam or write my papers)

Saturday, November 26, 2011

When you’re LOST, go to Iceland

As a senior in college, I frequently find myself the victim of dramatic mood swings. One moment I’m fed up with the drama of being around 18 to 22 year-olds and two minutes later I’m sobbing because I dread the moment I’ll have to say goodbye to my Denison family. In honor of my 21st birthday a few weeks ago, I’ve chosen to write a reflective post about the lessons I’ve learned and the mistakes I want to warn myself against making again.

  1. People will disappoint you, and they won’t acknowledge that they hurt your feelings. Some people deserve to be forgiven and deserve second chances, and others do not. People come and go in your life, but your true friends will make their presence felt even when they’re thousands of miles away.
  2. Even the people that seem like they have their acts together are just as insecure as you are. They just hide it better.
  3. One person’s perfect fit isn’t yours. Over the past semester, I’ve listened to hundreds of people give me their “life plans” after college. My reactions tend to range from happiness to jealousy to deep anxiety that my “life plan” is just not good enough or as prestigious. What I’ve learned is that YOU need to do what is best for YOU. I would also say this lesson applies to romantic relationships. Over the past few years, I’ve had a lot of anxiety about not fitting into appropriate social norms, and to be bluntly honest, I’d rather kiss a boy that thinks I’m wonderful than hook up with a bunch of random people, which leads me to my next lesson…
  4. I’m a hopeless romantic, and I’m not compromising this even if the male market is looking sparse. Women deserve a hell of a lot more than a post-it, email, Facebook chat or texting relationship!
  5. It’s okay if other people don’t get you. In the long run, fitting in just doesn’t matter as much. Anyhow, I’d rather stand out!
  6. When you’re lost, go to Iceland because why not??!! Life is short, and I think if you don’t take chances, you’ll miss out on something wonderful.

Alright, after this melodramatic rant, I will be back to feminist blogging because I watched a lot of television over Thanksgiving, and I have a lot to say!