Is there ever a "good rape scene" in a movie?

A conversation I had a few days ago and this article on tumblr has me thinking again about portrayals of rape, assault, and rough sex in films. As a refresher, I addressed this topic when reviewing the film Unfaithful in a previous post. The article on tumblr discusses the author's disappointment with the rape scene in the American release of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. To be honest, I'm confused about this author's difference between a good and bad rape scene because is there is ever a "good rape scene" in a movie? I understand what she's trying to get at here. Rape is always bad, but the manner in which a director displays or handles the rape in the film gains different reactions from viewers. For example, some rape scenes in films can be confused with rough sex. Rape should get a strong negative reaction from the audience while rough sex should arouse the audience. 


Yet, these lines are so blurry, and I think this ambiguity has contributed to a LOT of debate about what constitutes rape. Portrayals of rape in films normalize violence against women, and more people need to be asking these directors: Is this rape scene essential to this film? Does it contribute to the character's transformation in the film?


I'm torn here because I think rape should be discussed in films, and there may be something beneficial in bringing a realistic portrayal of rape to a wide audience. But, I don't think directors in Hollywood have a woman's dignity and respect in mind when filming these scenes. No, I have not seen The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, but the posters are oversexualized. Rooney Mara isn't wearing a shirt in this image:

Lisabeth is a strong female character, yet in this image she is reduced to a body to look at.  Her rape is an important part of the story, and I don't think it should be left out of the film, but there needs to be more caution when telling rape stories in films. Rape is a serious topic that should be handled with seriousness.

Thank for clarifying this, Ryan!

Rihanna's Not Your Role Model

On Tuesday, Rihanna was named Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive. To celebrate her title, she posed nude for the magazine's cover.

She offers some interesting comments in the article about not thinking she is "sexy" while she simulates sex on stage during her concerts and admits to wearing racy outfits. While there is nothing wrong with embracing sexuality, Rihanna's songs position her and her listeners as sex objects. In the interview, she shares that she "doesn't want to be anyone's role model. She just wants to be a musician." I would argue that just being a musician is not possible when millions of children consume her music and image.

What I've Been Reading

This event that occurred in Texas in April came on my radar recently. A girl, 11-years old, accused 19 men of raping her on four separate occasions. A serious case of victim-blaming is happening where 13 of the men have entered not-guilty pleas. The suspects claim that she lied about her age and "she wanted this to happen." FYI, no one EVER wants to get raped.


The Amanda Knox acquittal raises many questions about the ways women are framed in the media. Italian prosecutors framed Knox as a promiscuous "she-devil" while American commentators claim she is a victim of "inept, evil" men.


New children's book, Pirates and Princesses, reinforces and breaks stereotypes?! A boy and girl can still be friends on the playground if one is a princess and another is a pirate. So boys and girls can play together as long as they maintain rigid gender roles?


These videos will give you a major case of wanderlust.


Notice anything strange about this image...
He's posing the way a woman would in a magazine. Doesn't this look ridiculous?

BEWARE: The Dangers of Romance Via Text Messaging

I was inspired to write this post because of a recent text messaging mishap I had. I’m not sure if “mishap” is the correct word to use, but you decide. So, I am here at Denison doing research for the summer, and I often do research in the library. Some people don’t know this, but the library is a dangerous place to go if you are young and single. Last semester, a boy hit on me with the pick up line, “Excuse me, Are you related to Einstein? You just have this really intelligent energy about you.”  Yeah, that definitely wooed me…

Anyhow, I know Boy X on an acquaintance basis, and I see him a lot in the library. He’s kind of creepy, and I’m not interested in dating him at all. We have the general conversation: Hey! How are you? … etc. As I’m walking out of the gym last week, I run into him, and he asks me to come over for dinner. I thought that it might be a group dinner with a bunch of people, so I gave him my number to text me when it was ready (First mistake!). I decided not to go. Then on Thursday I get a text message, “Hey cutie, do you have a good memory?” So I’m just sitting there, and I don’t know what’s going on. So I ignored the message. Then, Friday he texts me again.

This young woman perfectly displays my look of disgust after recieving Boy X's creepy text messages. (http://news.indiainfo.com/2010/03/24/images/sexting1228917187_485.jpg)

 Here’s a brief summary of our exchange via text message:

Boy X: You know you’re breaking my heart.

Boy X: I feel bad right now :( (At this point I don’t know how to respond, but a guy friend suggests that I subtly turn him down and try not to hurt his feelings).

Me: Hey, I’m sorry. I’m not interested in dating anyone right now.

Boy X: Oh no, I don’t know if I’m interested in that. I just wanted to get to know you and see if you qualify. (Qualify for what?!)

Me: I’m not interested.

Boy X: I know how hot girls are. They try to play hard to get.

Here's my first question: What about my responses suggested that I was playing hard to get? It raised a lot of issues for me about men not taking no for an answer when a woman says she is not interested. From a perspective of rape and sexual assault, playing a "lovegame" of hard to get is not fun or funny. I think it goes back to the lure of the forbidden fruit. We want what we can't have, and I think that has dangerous implications when women are assaulted because a man just couldn't take no for an answer. This story from Dateline demonstrates what happens when sexual assault is NOT taken seriously, especially on college campuses.

Also, note to Boy X: That is not the way to romance a woman. I read this story about a man who proposed to his girlfriend by painting a mural on a street in New York City. Now that's romance, and it gave me hope that relationships aren't dissolving into creepy text messages and little face to face contact. While texting is fun, it has its consequences and has created a new language for some children and adults to be more cruel or daring via text message than they would be in person. I'm sure Boy X would not say those things to me in person, but maybe I would have been able to better get my point across that I'm not interested. I do not have the answers since as I write this I'm sure new technology is being created that pushes people further away from face to face conversations, but I can offer my own cautionary tale about the dangers of romance via text messaging. BEWARE!

True Romance does exist!

What if Cinderella just wanted to Hook Up with Prince Charming?

http://penglipurlara.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/disney-cinderella.jpg

A few weeks ago, I saw the film Water for Elephants starring Reese Witherspoon and Robert Pattinson. In the film, Robert Pattinson’s Jacob discovers the dangers and excitement of circus life after his parents are killed in a car accident. He falls for the beautiful Marlena (Reese Witherspoon), the wife of the abusive and cruel ringmaster. I won’t spoil the ending, but I will say that Jacob takes extensive measures to prove his love and loyalty to Marlena. Yes, it isn’t the traditional boy meets girl, they date, and live happily ever after storyline, but there was something romantic and sweet about Jacob’s pursuit of Marlena. I left the theater thinking: How often do men pursue the women of their dreams in the modern dating world?

The fairy tale model where boy meets girl and they run off into the sunset has been twisted, revised, expanded, and turned upside down in recent films. Hook up culture doesn’t fit in well with the happily ever after messages we’re told when we’re young. Can you imagine Cinderella telling Prince Charming after he puts on her glass slipper that she would “just like to hook up and have meaningless fun for a few weeks and then find a new prince” instead of the magical kiss and marriage? I’m going to take a wild guess and say that version would not be popular with parents and young children. Yet, these are the messages young people are navigating through in the modern dating world.

While there is an archetype of the non-committal, sex-crazed male in films such as Knocked Up and American Pie, there are new male and female archetypes emerging to keep up with the changing dating climate. For example, in 500 Days of Summer, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Tom declares his love for Summer when she openly admits that she doesn’t want a commitment. His heart is broken, yet their relationship I think offers a reality in the dating world. Sometimes things don’t work out, and sometimes one person has different expectations than the other person in a relationship. Tom loves Summer while she is hesitant and anti-committal.

Tom's seeing birds and leading a musical in the park while Summer isn't sharing the love...

http://www.wrensnestonline.com/blog/wp-content/500-days-of-summer1.jpg

The woman who just wants sex without the love is a rising female model Hollywood has used in the films No Strings Attached and Friends With Benefits. I find it amusing that two films with the exact same plot have been released in the same year with actresses that starred in the same Oscar winning movie. While on the surface, the “new” Hollywood leading lady is career-driven and in charge of her sexuality. Yet, is this an empowering view of women? A woman that knows what she wants. I would say no since at the end of the movie she usually changes her mind and trades the career for love. While I think a woman has every right to enjoy her career and hook up, Hollywood films such as No Strings Attached just teach young people that a career is a substitute for a relationship and being in a relationship is of course the best judge of a woman’s character.

So, how do we make sense of these confusing messages? Should a woman wait for Prince Charming to arrive on his white horse? Should she engage in hook up culture? Should she find a “fun friend” to magically fall in love with after weeks of hooking up? Does this actually happen in real life!? I don’t think these answers are simple because I think our society has set up guidelines to punish a woman for whatever choice she makes. If she waits too long, she’ll become a spinster or a prude. Think about Kate Middleton a.k.a “Waity Katie” as deemed by the British press when Prince William wouldn’t propose to her. If she’s too quick to hook up, then she’s called a “slut.” She gets around “too much” and other women resent and judge her. This is a frustrating trap for me, and maybe one day I’ll just get to a point where I don’t care as much anymore.

Below are a few links on this topic:

A Wall Street Journal Blogger on women who want sex while a man wants commitment in Hollywood films.

A review of recent studies done about hooking up on college campuses.

A critique from Fox News about Hollywood's glamorization of domestic violence in teen romances on shows like Gossip Girl and Twilight.

Sexual Violence Isn't "Sexy"

Some conversations and films I've watched recently have pushed me to discuss the issue of sexual violence on my blog. A few weeks ago, I stayed up late watching Unfaithful. It's a thriller with Richard Gere and Diane Lane. Lane is a stay-at-home mom with a high-powered lawyer for a husband. When the film begins, it's clear that their marriage is happy, but Lane is looking for sparks and passion because Gere is  workaholic. She has a chance meeting with an attractive frenchman played by Olivier Martinez on the street, and they begin a passionate affair. I won't spoil the ending for those who haven't seen it. 


There were a few scenes in the film I wanted to draw attention to because they raised some questions for me about rape and sexual assault. In the first sex scene Paul (Olivier Martinez) tells Lane to hit him when she expresses that she doesn't know "how to do this." That was the first indicator for me that there was something off with this relationship. In one of the final scenes between Olivier and Lane, when she tries to leave, he pushes her into a wall and begins undressing her. What's problematic here is that most people would think that is "sexy" but for me, it seemed that he was taking advantage of her, and she did not fully consent. It reminds me of the Lady Gaga lyrics from her song "Poker Face" where she sings: "Baby, if it's not rough/ it isn't fun." I think this tension needs to be discussed among men and women because where are the boundaries when rough IS NOT fun anymore?

It seems based on conversations I have overheard and taken part in over the past few weeks that these boundaries are NOT clear to men and women. Let's be honest here... This is a situation that is not just happening in movies. Think about it the next time you're at a party and see two intoxicated people going off together.


Continuing with the subject of rape, my roommate recently introduced me to "rape- fighting condoms." A doctor in South Africa created a condom women can wear to protect them from rape. To summarize, women wear a condom with "teeth." A man tries to rape her, and the teeth grab on. The man is in pain and must remove himself. The only way he can remove the condom is by going to a doctor, and the more he tries to remove it himself the tighter it gets. Take a look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9guyVVqHcYo