Why are women expected to be Superheroes?

As a senior in college, I am reaching a point where I have to make some decisions about my future. I don't think I need to have a plan for the rest of my life, but I know that now is when I should be thinking: What's next? As I've considered this question frequently over the past few months, I've discovered how complicated it is particularly for women to decide on career paths. While this is a long way down the line (at least for me), I have to ask myself: When does a family fit into my life plans? That question affects job plans and grad school plans.

I noticed that dilemma during a conversation with one of the women that lives on my street while I was waiting for my brother at the bus stop. She was asking me about my plans after college. I remarked that "I wasn't sure at the moment." She responded that she had an assortment of jobs after college. She worked in an after-school program for ten years and at a doctor's office. Then, she said that after she had children, she didn't work again because "her career just didn't matter..." When she made that last statement, her voice trailed off, suggesting that there was a mix of emotions packed inside of it. Perhaps, guilt, frustration, angry, indifference... I'm not sure, but it made me realize that this is a big feminist issue! (Note: I don't mean to offend stay-at-home parents. I respect mothers that want to stay at home with their kids because it's a tough job, but in this post I am discussing working moms).


While women are not confined to their homes like in the 1950's, they are now constrained with "mommy guilt" if they work and have a family. Women are expected to be "superheroes" that work all day but have the time to bake cupcakes for their kid's class, read books to their children and cook a delicious meal.

These images of women are perpetuated in media portrayals. The film I Don't Know How She Does It, to be released September 6th, features an overwhelmed Sarah Jessica Parker trying to juggle work, family life, and a husband. I question what the point of the film is. Is it to give viewers a relatable heroine and stick up for working moms? I think one benefit of a film like this is that it contrasts the media images of women that have "it all figured out." The "perfect" mother now has some flaws and maybe women will feel less pressure to be perfect. But is that true? My thought is that even if Sarah Jessica Parker has struggles in this current film, she still finds that balance at the end of the movie, and the storybook ending ensues. But, what happens after the credits roll?

(http://cdn.buzznet.com/media-cdn/jj1/headlines/2011/08/

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Let's be honest here... While writing this post, I saw a Loreal commercial on television with Julianna Margulies. She stared into the camera, exclaiming, "We all need to do ten things at once. That ages you." She then went on to promote Loreal's new anti-aging face wash. Why is it that "We all need to do ten things at once?" Who told women that? Can women work and be moms without "Mommy guilt"? This issue is also complicated by the fact that daycare in the United Stated isn't great. Anyone above the age of 16 can work in a daycare center in the United States, and the required education for daycare teachers is minimal. This doesn't make it easy for parents to feel comfortable leaving their kids in daycare with some (not all) unskilled professionals.

(http://www.celebrityendorsementads.com/celebrity-endorsements/celebrities/

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I'm tired of being told I need to be perfect and look 21 for the rest of my life to be happy. 

Aren't you?

Funny or Offensive. You Decide.

While getting coffee the other day, this birthday card caught my attention. The inside said: "Enjoy the many possibilities of beauty and bling. Happy Birthday!"

Well, this image just confuses me. Is there humor to be found in the way the little girl is holding The Beauty Myth, a book that negates the pressures women face to be beautiful and thin, while looking like a beauty queen with makeup and curlers in her hair? The cover is creepy to me and a reminder of the ways advertisements and even greeting cards promote mixed messages about how young girls should behave and look. Is it supposed to be progressive with its message about the many possibilities of beauty, suggesting that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes? You decide.

As far as I'm concerned, it reminds me of the work of Diane Arbus, an American photographer famous for photographing "misfits" and those marginalized by society. Consider one of her photographs below:

Diane Arbus, girl in a party dress

Find any similarities with the greeting card?

(http://ttexshexes.blogspot.com/2009_08_01_archive.html)

Can Empathy Be Taught?

A Midwestern university questioned whether "Empathy can be taught?" in an "Empathy Experiment" where students took their in-school education to the real world through volunteering projects. The study argues that teaching empathy is a key aspect of a student's education, especially with the rise of social media tools and narcissism among youth. A University of Michigan psychologist found that empathy in today's college students declined 40 percent compared with peers 20 to 30 years ago. 


That statistic doesn't surprise me since social media outlets such as Twitter and Facebook encourage their users to be selfish. Keep updating your status because all of your "friends" care about what you are doing every second of the day! 


In terms of the research question about empathy, I think students in a classroom can learn how to be kind and considerate, but there needs to be more to "empathy education" than completing one "good" act. There needs to be the reflection piece where students question the implications of their actions. I think this is necessary because often when students are asked to do service, they don't get anything out of it besides a signed piece of paper and a wasted afternoon. I think it is also important to question how much it is possible to understand what another person is going through. Maybe we should just strive to do our best and be considerate of others instead of attempting to "understand" them or walk a mile in their shoes. 


I think I'm still wondering if it is possible for every person to get over their own insecurities and problems and truly care about another person. Is that something we acquire with age and life experiences?

(http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/rma/lowres/rman1673l.jpg)

I'm 20 years old, and I feel like I'm too old to be at a Kesha concert

(http://www.picgifs.com/celebrities/k/kesha/celebrities-kesha-548695.png)

Last week, my roommate and I took a spontaneous trip to Columbus to see Kesha perform. It was quite an experience to be sandwiched in between hundreds of preteens and older couples with their seven-year old children chanting to Kesha's "Tik Tok", "Cannibal" and "Take it Off." My roommate looked at me embarrassed asking if I also "felt like I was too old to be at this concert." 

The public image Kesha has crafted intrigued me the most. She emerged on stage in a black leotard, ripped stockings, wild hair, and crazy makeup, the opposite of a proper, well-manicured woman. She cultivates the persona that she's doesn't care about the way she looks. She just wants to party, drink a lot of beer, and play music occasionally. Her lyrics are simple, and I can see why her messages are seductive to young women that want to go out and have a good time. While she may fit narrow beauty standards with her thin frame and blond locks, she tarnishes that image when she curses on stages, touches herself, and dresses in messy clothes and makeup. So, she is escaping one stereotype that women must be polite and "nice" while confirming a stereotype that girls just want to party and exist for the pleasure of men. I still don't know what to make of Kesha's "image", but there is something that tells me that she's a lot smarter than she shows.

Will Two Snow White Remakes To Be Released in 2012 Promote Feminist Messages?

Two remakes of Snow White are set to be released in 2012. The first, Snow White and the Huntsman, has been advertised as an action film, comparable to films such as Deep Impact and Lord of the Rings. The image above is intriguing to me. Click the link to view the other pictures of cast members as their characters. In the image, Kristen Stewart is dressed as a knight, suggesting power and strength, yet she is starring away from the viewer. Why is that, since the other images of the queen, huntsman, and prince directly face the viewer? While I have my reservations, it is refreshing to see Snow White minus the dress, perfect look, songs, and birds.

My main question is: Will this be a feminist film? A brief synopsis of the film shares that the evil queen played by Charlize Theron sends a hunstman to kill her stepdaughter. Instead of despairing, Snow White played by Kristen Stewart trains in martial arts to fight the queen. At first glance, this film seems promising, but I'm concerned it will fall into the usual Hollywood traps. While Snow White can protect herself, the films also includes the handsome prince "enchanted by Snow White's beauty."

The second film being released in 2012 is The Brothers Grimm: Snow White, starring Julia Roberts as the queen and Lily Collins as Snow White. An interview with Entertainment Weekly offers some interesting comments from the filmmaker. This version is supposed to be "humorous" as opposed to the other that is "action-oriented." In response to questions about why he chose Julia Roberts, the filmmaker shares that he wanted a "likable queen."

He also comments "She’s the stepmother, but other films are all about narcissism. Who’s more beautiful than the other? This one is more of a power struggle. She wants power, and beauty is just a part of that." I find that comment interesting because power and beauty are so interconnected, and in our culture, a woman's power stems from her beauty. While it is sad to admit, beauty can gain a woman respect and prestige. I also think labeling previous Snow White films as all about "narcissism" offers an incomplete picture. Yes, the queen only cares about herself and being the "fairest of them all", but what strikes me the most about this story is the way the queen must be "fairer" than her stepdaughter. I think it shows the complexities of the relationships between stepmothers and stepdaughters as well as the intricacies of relationships between women and the ways they must hurt each other to achieve beauty and success. I'll give my final verdict when the films are released.

(http://www.celebritiesfans.com/Pic/juliaroberts.jpg)

Can you imagine Julia Roberts as the evil, likable queen?

44% of Women Surveyed Have Romance Regrets in Northwestern Study

(http://www.kellogg.northwestern.edu/News_Articles/2011/romantic-regrets.aspx)

A study at Northwestern University questioned what decisions Americans regret the most. Researchers found that "About 44 percent of women reported romance regrets versus 19 percent of men. Women also had more family regrets than men. About 34 percent of men reported having work-oriented regrets versus 27 percent of women reporting similar regrets." While the study focuses on the "psychology of regrets," I think it's important to analyze the results from a gender perspective. Why is it that women have more romance regrets than men? Is it that more women have romantic regrets or are more women willing to admit their regrets? We live in a culture that punishes men for having emotions, so that may be one piece to the puzzle.


I think this study demonstrates the gender divisions that still exist in relationships and in the workplace. Women are defined by their romantic relationships while men are defined by their careers. This is a problematic association that is apparently still thriving based on the results of this study.


This weekend I went on a hiking trip with a friend (Yay!), and we spoke for a long time about the pressures we feel when speaking with family members and friends about being "single." While the little feminist voice inside my head tells me not to, I have been asked with such a frequency over the last few years that I do feel ashamed for not having a boyfriend. It as if people assume that I'm not a complete person if I don't have a significant other, and while I do think relationships enrich your life, I don't need one to be a "complete, fulfilled" person. I like myself, and I'm waiting for someone who likes me just as much as I like myself.


Another intriguing aspect of this study is that the "typical American" ranked "self" as the least source of regret. Regrets are mostly attributed to romance, family, and education decisions. I think this finding says something about the way people always look to external factors to explain their behaviors instead of looking into themselves. It's always difficult to take responsibility for our actions.

Details Magazine Reinforces Sexism in Shia LaBeouf Interview

Shia Lebouf trying his best James Dean.

While I was filtering through the latest celebrity news on Friday, I was overwhelmed with articles about Shia LaBeouf revealing his "hook up" with Megan Fox on the Transformers set. He revealed this information to Details magazine stating, "Look, you're on the set for six months, with someone who's rooting to be attracted to you, and you're rooting to be attracted to them. I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation. But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry onscreen." The article than speculated that Fox cheated on her husband with Shia. 


Here's my message to Shia: Shia, if it was your "own thing" why are you revealing it to the whole world? She's not even in the current Transformers movie, so why discuss her and her business? Also, why is it that Shia reveals his "hook up" with Megan Fox and bashes his directors and is then rewarded with the label of "honest, complex bad boy"?! What a double standard! 


Details magazine sets him up in clothes and scenes comparable to James Dean, and in the introduction to the article, Aaron Gell, writes, "The 25-year-old Transformers star has thrown as many punches as he has parties, he has a rap sheet as long as his filmography, and when he's not pissing off studio heads, he's messing around with another guy's girlfriend. But Shia LaBeouf may also be the most honest—and complex—actor alive. More than meets the eye? Damn right." Shia isn't complex. He's just another entitled man that can get away with speaking his mind and trashing the women he's been with under the guise that he's gifted and deeply sensitive inside.


I'm reminded of Katherine Heigl's love hate relationship with the press. When she speaks her mind, she's labeled an "angry bitch." In an interview with Vanity Fair, Heigl says that Knocked Up is "a little sexist" because "It paints women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as goofy, fun-loving guys. It was hard for me to love the movie." I agree. Knocked Up is sexist, but the real problem here is that Heigl is labeled an "ungrateful, bitch" for sharing her voice. My point is not to silence Shia LaBeouf but to reveal and break down a terrible double standard that is clearly thriving in Details magazine. Details Magazine reinforces a culture where men can speak their minds while women can't.