This week in one of my classes, we discussed whether men can do "feminist" research. For example, can men interview women about their experiences? Could they every understand what it is like to be "female"? While debating those questions in class, one student brought up the clip from Modern Family where Phil goes to the spa. (It's nice to know that other people are questioning themes from the show as well!)
So, what does it mean to be a feminist? Feminism usually gets a bad rap. It is stereotyped as being a movement made up of bra-burning man-haters. Well, that's not the case! Many people who identify as feminists claim different definitions. I think feminism is an attitude. It is an attitude of openness towards all people considered "different" whose rights have been "limited." It inspires me to work to promote a "better" world where there is less gender, sex, race, and class discrimination.
I stumbled onto a blog about an inspiring teacher that shares feminism with her students. She recently wrote an article about "Teaching Boys Feminism", and I think she makes a great point about women and men embracing feminism. Here's the link: http://feministteacher.com/.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
A little "Too Close" for Comfort: Rethinking 90s Music Memories
To set the scene for this post, let's travel back in time... It's the 90s, and I'm sitting in the car gossiping with some friends in the back seat while my mom is driving us to a friend's house. A song comes on (Think Spice Girls "Wannabe" or "2 Becomes 1"), and we begin dancing and mouthing the words to each other. You may be thinking "What's so problematic about this scene?" (or you're thinking "Oh, Baby Spice was my favorite" which means you are missing the entire point of this post...)
Let's fast-forward a few years later to another conversation:
Me: What are you talking about?
Friend 1: Lena, don't you remember that song?
Me: No. Play it for me.... My friend begins playing "Too Close" by Next.
Me: Oh, yeah I remember it.
Friend 1: Listen to the lyrics...
Me: Why...Oh...
To get my point, check out the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwEZRPkAAu8
So the entire song is about getting "too close" to a member of the opposite sex at a party, and I, at 20 years old, just realized the true meaning of the song when I revisited it. The same thing happened when the Spice Girls went on tour again. I revisited the song "2 Becomes 1" and had another revelation about my childhood. What's problematic here is that I danced to these songs as a naive 14-year-old without recognizing the sexual innuendo, and the same pattern is continuing with 8-year olds replicating Lady Gaga's dance moves on Youtube. (Yes, there is a video of an 8-year old boy dancing to "Poker Face.")
For kids today, Lady Gaga is their idol, and yes, her songs are great to dance to, but there is something problematic about the messages these songs are telling young people. The songs over-sexualize young girls and tell them that to fit in they need to be "sexy." While I've said on my blog that there should be more open communication with young people about sex, another layer is to inform young people of the negative messages they are receiving from the music industry that lead them to uncomfortable sexual situations they are not prepared for. Yes, the songs are nice background music to dance to at parties, but the lyrics need to be problematized and seen as potential harmful manipulators of men and women's sexual behaviors.
Let's fast-forward a few years later to another conversation:
Me: What are you talking about?
Friend 1: Lena, don't you remember that song?
Me: No. Play it for me.... My friend begins playing "Too Close" by Next.
Me: Oh, yeah I remember it.
Friend 1: Listen to the lyrics...
Me: Why...Oh...
To get my point, check out the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwEZRPkAAu8
So the entire song is about getting "too close" to a member of the opposite sex at a party, and I, at 20 years old, just realized the true meaning of the song when I revisited it. The same thing happened when the Spice Girls went on tour again. I revisited the song "2 Becomes 1" and had another revelation about my childhood. What's problematic here is that I danced to these songs as a naive 14-year-old without recognizing the sexual innuendo, and the same pattern is continuing with 8-year olds replicating Lady Gaga's dance moves on Youtube. (Yes, there is a video of an 8-year old boy dancing to "Poker Face.")
For kids today, Lady Gaga is their idol, and yes, her songs are great to dance to, but there is something problematic about the messages these songs are telling young people. The songs over-sexualize young girls and tell them that to fit in they need to be "sexy." While I've said on my blog that there should be more open communication with young people about sex, another layer is to inform young people of the negative messages they are receiving from the music industry that lead them to uncomfortable sexual situations they are not prepared for. Yes, the songs are nice background music to dance to at parties, but the lyrics need to be problematized and seen as potential harmful manipulators of men and women's sexual behaviors.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
The Last "Single" Girl?
A few weeks ago, I watched the Sex and the City movie with a few friends of mine, and it brought up an issue I am all too familiar with... the label of being "single." Even if Sex and the City made it cool for women to be in their thirties, single and sipping martinis, there is still a stigma against women who are single. If you're single and not desperate on Valentine's Day, then there is something wrong with you. Why is that? Of course, I have my theories, but really why can't women be single, happy, and looking?
I found this article on a blog about "36 Things Every Single Girl Must Do Before She Settles Down." While I agree with many of the points (check out #11!), I think this article should be renamed "36 Things Every Woman Must Do in her Lifetime." Why can't a woman, for example, go to a movie on her own while she's in a relationship? Is she forced to always go with her significant other? Why can't she continue checking off the list while she's in a relationship? It's empowering to do things on your own, and you can still do that single or not.
Here's the link: http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/single-ish/2010/06/36-things-every-single-girl-mu.html
I found this article on a blog about "36 Things Every Single Girl Must Do Before She Settles Down." While I agree with many of the points (check out #11!), I think this article should be renamed "36 Things Every Woman Must Do in her Lifetime." Why can't a woman, for example, go to a movie on her own while she's in a relationship? Is she forced to always go with her significant other? Why can't she continue checking off the list while she's in a relationship? It's empowering to do things on your own, and you can still do that single or not.
Here's the link: http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/single-ish/2010/06/36-things-every-single-girl-mu.html
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Sexual Violence Isn't "Sexy"
Some conversations and films I've watched recently have pushed me to discuss the issue of sexual violence on my blog. A few weeks ago, I stayed up late watching Unfaithful. It's a thriller with Richard Gere and Diane Lane. Lane is a stay-at-home mom with a high-powered lawyer for a husband. When the film begins, it's clear that their marriage is happy, but Lane is looking for sparks and passion because Gere is workaholic. She has a chance meeting with an attractive frenchman played by Olivier Martinez on the street, and they begin a passionate affair. I won't spoil the ending for those who haven't seen it.
There were a few scenes in the film I wanted to draw attention to because they raised some questions for me about rape and sexual assault. In the first sex scene Paul (Olivier Martinez) tells Lane to hit him when she expresses that she doesn't know "how to do this." That was the first indicator for me that there was something off with this relationship. In one of the final scenes between Olivier and Lane, when she tries to leave, he pushes her into a wall and begins undressing her. What's problematic here is that most people would think that is "sexy" but for me, it seemed that he was taking advantage of her, and she did not fully consent. It reminds me of the Lady Gaga lyrics from her song "Poker Face" where she sings: "Baby, if it's not rough/ it isn't fun." I think this tension needs to be discussed among men and women because where are the boundaries when rough IS NOT fun anymore?
It seems based on conversations I have overheard and taken part in over the past few weeks that these boundaries are NOT clear to men and women. Let's be honest here... This is a situation that is not just happening in movies. Think about it the next time you're at a party and see two intoxicated people going off together.
Continuing with the subject of rape, my roommate recently introduced me to "rape- fighting condoms." A doctor in South Africa created a condom women can wear to protect them from rape. To summarize, women wear a condom with "teeth." A man tries to rape her, and the teeth grab on. The man is in pain and must remove himself. The only way he can remove the condom is by going to a doctor, and the more he tries to remove it himself the tighter it gets. Take a look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9guyVVqHcYo
There were a few scenes in the film I wanted to draw attention to because they raised some questions for me about rape and sexual assault. In the first sex scene Paul (Olivier Martinez) tells Lane to hit him when she expresses that she doesn't know "how to do this." That was the first indicator for me that there was something off with this relationship. In one of the final scenes between Olivier and Lane, when she tries to leave, he pushes her into a wall and begins undressing her. What's problematic here is that most people would think that is "sexy" but for me, it seemed that he was taking advantage of her, and she did not fully consent. It reminds me of the Lady Gaga lyrics from her song "Poker Face" where she sings: "Baby, if it's not rough/ it isn't fun." I think this tension needs to be discussed among men and women because where are the boundaries when rough IS NOT fun anymore?
It seems based on conversations I have overheard and taken part in over the past few weeks that these boundaries are NOT clear to men and women. Let's be honest here... This is a situation that is not just happening in movies. Think about it the next time you're at a party and see two intoxicated people going off together.
Continuing with the subject of rape, my roommate recently introduced me to "rape- fighting condoms." A doctor in South Africa created a condom women can wear to protect them from rape. To summarize, women wear a condom with "teeth." A man tries to rape her, and the teeth grab on. The man is in pain and must remove himself. The only way he can remove the condom is by going to a doctor, and the more he tries to remove it himself the tighter it gets. Take a look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9guyVVqHcYo
Monday, March 21, 2011
Who is this woman?...
(http://www.popeater.com/2011/03/21/zooey-deschanel-rimmel-ad/)
Happy Monday!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Funny or Offensive. You decide.
While perusing my favorite celebrity gossip sites, I stumbled onto this video about a "joke" infomercial Jimmy Kimmel recently released on his show. It advertises a fake diet called "The Hottie Body Jim Miracle Diet" where Jimmy eats 4/5 of the food his female guests are eating. The women eat 1/5 of whatever food they want and the result is the beautiful, stick-thin ideal body. He has a slew of celebrity guests including Heidi Klum, Emily Blunt, Scarlett Johansson, and Jessica Biel who each promote this special diet.
At first I thought it was funny until actress Kerry Washington shared: "I can eat whatever I want and still make women want to kill themselves." I was struck by how NOT funny this sketch is. I think Jimmy took it to an extreme, and in light of the recent Eating Disorder Awareness week, it is not funny to tell women that eating 1/5 of their food intake will make them beautiful.
I am also still stuck on that last image in the clip where Jimmy is on a motor chair looking overweight surrounded by the beautiful actresses on his commercial. To me that image reflects a sad reality where men are praised for having healthy appetites while women must refrain from eating 4/5 of their meals to maintain a "beautiful" meaning thin body.
You decide: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YoKoKI_2NlQ
At first I thought it was funny until actress Kerry Washington shared: "I can eat whatever I want and still make women want to kill themselves." I was struck by how NOT funny this sketch is. I think Jimmy took it to an extreme, and in light of the recent Eating Disorder Awareness week, it is not funny to tell women that eating 1/5 of their food intake will make them beautiful.
I am also still stuck on that last image in the clip where Jimmy is on a motor chair looking overweight surrounded by the beautiful actresses on his commercial. To me that image reflects a sad reality where men are praised for having healthy appetites while women must refrain from eating 4/5 of their meals to maintain a "beautiful" meaning thin body.
You decide: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YoKoKI_2NlQ
(http://www.nypost.com/r/nypost/blogs/
popwrap/201103/IMAGES/15/kimmel.jpg)
Friday, March 18, 2011
Holding on to that "Teenage Dream"
In one of my classes, we recently read and discussed Maggie Stiefvater’s Shiver. It’s a trilogy meant for a teenage audience about the romance between two teenagers. The twist is that Sam is a werewolf while Grace is a human; therefore, they face many obstacles in their love affair. While I’m not a big fan of a lot of popular teenage literature today (cough Twilight), I liked this book. If you are interested in writing and reading young adult literature, check out Stiefvater’s webpage and blog. She’s a quirky, funny woman. Here’s the link: http://www.maggiestiefvater.com/index.php.
Both characters are likeable, and their romance is “sweet.” Yes, there are definite oddities about their relationship since Sam is a werewolf half of the year and human the other half, and they only dated as humans for the span of a few months, but if anyone reads it and wants to discuss it further, we can talk. The point I’m trying to get at is this utopian view of falling in love and being young. I think I’m going to start calling it Disney syndrome. Yes, I have my reservations about that view of the world because it is idealistic, and women need to know that a prince is not in the guise of every frog. Sometimes frogs are frogs. But, there is something wonderful about that teenage innocence Grace and Sam have. It reminds me of the way I feel when I listen to Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream.” Here’s a clip from Glee that sums up my emotions: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E46BhMIRujI. As I get older, I do become more cynical and wiser which I consider a good thing, but I don’t want to lose that open, “innocent” attitude.
I was faced with that dilemma when watching the television show How I Met Your Mother. In one episode, Robin, one of the main characters, gets back together with her boyfriend from high school and ignores his obvious flaws because she is swept up in the jittery, carefree attitude that she has when she’s with him. She states that she just wanted to be the vulnerable, 16-year-old she once was. At the end of the episode, I was left thinking: Isn’t that a quality that we all want to sustain? Can we maintain the ability to look at things like they are new and shiny even when we’ve been hurt and disappointed? What about the ability to see the world from new perspectives without feeling jaded? Can those feelings sustain life’s hardships?
Both characters are likeable, and their romance is “sweet.” Yes, there are definite oddities about their relationship since Sam is a werewolf half of the year and human the other half, and they only dated as humans for the span of a few months, but if anyone reads it and wants to discuss it further, we can talk. The point I’m trying to get at is this utopian view of falling in love and being young. I think I’m going to start calling it Disney syndrome. Yes, I have my reservations about that view of the world because it is idealistic, and women need to know that a prince is not in the guise of every frog. Sometimes frogs are frogs. But, there is something wonderful about that teenage innocence Grace and Sam have. It reminds me of the way I feel when I listen to Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream.” Here’s a clip from Glee that sums up my emotions: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E46BhMIRujI. As I get older, I do become more cynical and wiser which I consider a good thing, but I don’t want to lose that open, “innocent” attitude.
I was faced with that dilemma when watching the television show How I Met Your Mother. In one episode, Robin, one of the main characters, gets back together with her boyfriend from high school and ignores his obvious flaws because she is swept up in the jittery, carefree attitude that she has when she’s with him. She states that she just wanted to be the vulnerable, 16-year-old she once was. At the end of the episode, I was left thinking: Isn’t that a quality that we all want to sustain? Can we maintain the ability to look at things like they are new and shiny even when we’ve been hurt and disappointed? What about the ability to see the world from new perspectives without feeling jaded? Can those feelings sustain life’s hardships?
(http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/
cartoonists/cga/lowres/cgan776l.jpg)
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